How to Stop Playing the Blame Game and Take Responsibility

Taking responsibility is tough. It is always much easier to put the blame on others – to point a finger and say that fate, your colleague or your spouse is to blame for the things that go wrong.

What if you were to point at yourself and say that you were responsible for everything that is happening in your life? That all your happiness, successes as well as failures are the result of the choices that you have made?

It would probably be as scary and exhilarating as bungee jumping. Yet, it is perhaps the first step towards success and happiness. To be an achiever, you need to set goals. You can set goals only if you take responsibility.

Taking Responsibility

So, how do you change from someone who blames others to someone who takes responsibility? Here are a few tips:

Recognize the signs that you play the blame game: The first step to fixing a behavior is acknowledging that it needs fixing. You avoid taking responsibility if you:

• Always believe that someone other than you is wrong.
• Mostly dwell in the past and rarely think about the future.
• Do not believe that you can improve anything in your life.
• Never apologize.
• Often call your circumstances ‘unfair’.
• Tend to feel sorry for yourself.

Recognise that this behaviour can lead to failure and misery: If you blame your luck or people around you, you will never be able to take control of circumstances. You will not be able to plan ahead, make wise choices and take objective decisions. This will eventually restrict your growth and lead to immense stress.

Own up to mistakes: If you have made a mistake, recognise that you were wrong. Admit that you made a mistake (“Yes, I forgot to call you on your birthday”) and apologise for it.

Prepare to take action: Remember that you will have to go out there and get what you want. No one else will do that for you. Identify all the things that are going wrong in your life and note down how you would like them to be. Also, list out all your strengths as well as your shortcomings.

Set goals for yourself: Think positively and plan out what you wish to achieve. Think about what makes you feel good and what excites you. Set up small goals that you can see yourself achieving. When you accomplish something, recognise your efforts and accept praises graciously.

Life may not be fair, but we need to make the most of it. People who succeed are not those who have had the best circumstances, but those who have taken the responsibility to change themselves as well as their circumstances.