… making human-well-beings The biology of optimism
The skills of enjoying positive emotions, being engaged with people you care about, having meaning in life, achieving your work goals and maintaining good relationships are entirely different from the skills of not being depressed, not being anxious and not being angry. The absence of sadness, anxiety and anger does not guarantee happiness. The absence […]
Effective Praise
Praise specific skills as opposed to a vague ‘way to go’ or ‘good job’ Praising the detail demonstrates that you were watching / listening, that you took the time to see what the person did and that the praise is authentic as opposed to perfunctory. Assertive communication as differentiated from passive, aggressive styles. What is […]
Building Strong Relationships
Practical tools to build relationships and to challenge beliefs that interfere with positive communication. Research shows when an individual responds actively and constructively to someone sharing a positive experience, love and friendship increase. 4 styles of responding: 1. Active constructive (authentic and enthusiastic) 2. Passive constructive (understated support) 3. Passive destructive (ignoring the event) 4. […]
Post-Traumatic Growth
‘What does not kill me makes me stronger’ Research has shown that individuals who’d experienced an awful event had more intense strengths and therefore higher wellbeing. And the more events experienced, the more stronger people became. What events that have made you stronger? Post-Traumatic Growth Course Personal transformation is characterised by renewed appreciation of being […]
Turning trauma into growth
Focusing on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is like the tail wagging the dog. Consider the example of a flood victim: First, a victim may relive the disaster in dreams time and again. Second, they may be left numb psychologically… “didn’t even go to his dad’s cemetery” and “neglecting domestic duties – they don’t mean anything […]
Time to be creative?
How does slowness contribute to achievement? Tool of the mind: One technique is structured play… If you ask a child to stand still – maximum is one minute. If you have a make believe that the child is guarding the factory maximum increases to 4 minutes. Achievement: defined not simply by any motion but motion […]
Speed vs Slowness
Speed and IQ have a strong relationship Any complex task has fast components and slower voluntary components that take more effort. What distinguishes people is how much they have on ‘automatic’. When the bulk of what an expert does is on automatic, people say he/she has ‘great intuition’. Tremendous effort can compensate for modest skill, […]
Icebergs!
Icebergs – Deeply held beliefs that often lead to out of kilter emotional reactions eg believing that asking for help is a weakness … how can we reframe that? Following icebergs you need to deal with how to minimize catastrophic thinking… learning how to calibrate the catastrophic realistically is crucial… eg soldier unable to contact his wife […]
We need to be part of a flourishing community
There is a balance between the solitary individual and the flourishing community. It has been fashionable to describe humans as SELFISH. However, A cooperative group will always outperform selfish one. A few sad or lonely or angry people can spoil the morale of the whole group. Positive morale on the other hand is even more powerful […]
Self Control and Grit
Where character enters the equation is effort – the amount of time spent on a task.. deliberate practice. 20 of the world’s top soloist pianist have spent 10,000 hours of solo practice in their life time to achieve their excellence!.(5000 next level and 2000 for serious amateur) What determines the time devoted? Answer: Character and […]
... making human-well-beings 