Five Steps to Let Go of Bitterness

Have a Bitterness Bonfire!

Bitterness is sneaky. It hunkers down in the corners of our mind, blends in, littering and limiting our life’s landscape. Hanging onto bitterness is like hanging a worm eaten apple on the wall to remind us that  things can go bad. Bitterness doesn’t just cause us to avoid bad apples, but all fruit, trees, dirt, and on and on. The paranoia brought on by bitterness traps you in the place you were using for refuge. Bitterness bonfires produce new growth in old places and the warm, sweet smell of freedom.

Unpack and Unload Emotional Baggage

If you’ve known someone so trapped by bad memories that they seem incapable of enjoying anything that could make them emotionally vulnerable, you eventually realize that only they can unpack and unload the emotional baggage that suffocates them. Examine relationships with your mother, father, siblings, a former true love or spouse. Failures in important relationships create bitterness because we expect too much and minimize what we received. You wouldn’t keep the jelly fish that stung you, but should keep the beautiful shell you found on the way to the hospital.

Uncover and Unload Career Disappointments

Infants can’t do card tricks, teach physics, or even ask “would you like fries with that?” Experience is necessary to develop ability. Why do we insist, “I’m never going to try that again!” when receiving less than a standing ovation? When we aren’t chosen for an opportunity, or get fired, we hide the embarrassment in our bitterness dungeon. Failure is part of the process of success.

Trade Bitterness for Progress

Disappointments that become bitterness grow slowly, like a fungus creating a slimy, sunshine killing plague. Now, how was bitterness supposed to protect you from failure? The original minor cut is not nearly as dangerous as a lifetime of scar tissue build up. Running aground won’t sink your boat, but leaving it there renders it useless. Disappointments should begin progress, not end it!

Live on!

Those  employing the philosophy “What doesn’t kill me can only make me stronger,” know life is even more valued after a storm. “From the ashes of disaster, grow the roses of success!” sang Lionel Jefferies in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The lyric exemplifies how victory springs from setbacks if we will only make the effort.  A fully lived life is a glorious journey!