Five Steps to Forgiveness

Don’t Judge! (Don’t Be a Hater!)

Social networking websites have done a wonderfully horrible thing by eliminating the distance between enemies. A friend request from someone who you feel offended you, might evoke, “Are they crazy?! They’re not getting away with what they did to me! I’ll decline, or better yet, ignore them so they’ll know they are NOT my friend!” We build a protective moat that insulates us from injustice. Rather than share responsibility, we wish the worst for them and award ourselves the “I’m Completely Innocent Medal.” Seems childish doesn’t it? Others deserve better. You deserve better!

Free the Hostage – You

Choosing an enemy makes your world smaller and wastes precious time and emotional energy. Meanwhile, your enemy is largely oblivious to your injustice obsession. Refusal to reconcile allows wildly different versions of the story to develop. The offenses are  imprisoned in the heart, poisoning the spirit. Trading  peace of mind for any offense, real or imagined, is pointless.

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. – Sir William H. Walton, Composer

Ask to Be Forgiven

The only way to heal an offended spirit is to ask “the offender” to forgive you. You helped allow the disagreement and premeditated revenge. Humbly ask for their forgiveness for not handling the situation better. Whether or not it is immediately received, is not your responsibility. If you are truly genuine in your apology, they will eventually be moved to examine their motives and actions with the same objectivity you did. The end result of forgiveness is spiritual maturity.

Give to Receive

Love overcomes all. Replacing malicious behavior with generosity and love promotes healthy relationships and improves the atmosphere around you. Accepting a peace offering and sincere apology for an offense softens your heart and  sets into motion a flood of goodwill toward others in your life.

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” – Peter Ustinov

Open Your Door!

Offer support to the one you feel offended you. Being an ally wins allies and expands the network of people who trust and protect us. Practicing forgiveness leads you down joyous, peaceful paths that create healthy relationships based on mutual respect and compassion. Forgiving others, and yourself, is our greatest need, the ultimate accomplishment, and bears the greatest reward.