4 Steps for Managing Anger More Effectively

Anger which is not managed effectively and out of control will ultimately create a vast number of challenges for the individual expressing it. Uncontrolled anger can be very destructive, and impacts not only those expressing it, but also those who are the target of it. The effects of uncontrolled anger for all those involved can be devastating both mentally and emotionally, especially for children. If you need to manage your anger more effectively it is recommended you talk with a counselor. In the meantime, here are 4 steps to help you manage your anger more effectively.

Change your Mind about Anger

Before you can get a handle on your anger it must be seen for what it truly is so you can change your mind about expressing it. Anger is about control over others, pure and simple. It attempts to control through aggression, intimidation, and fear. Anger is often destructive and violent, producing both short and long term health effects. Anger has no respect for anyone, or anything. Is this really the kind of influence you want to have on the lives of others, your spouse, or your children?

Discover your Anger Triggers

Anyone inclined to habitually express anger has triggers or associations which initiates an episode. It is important to discover these triggers so you can use relaxation techniques to interrupt the pattern before it builds intensity. Ask yourself; what was happening just prior to your last anger outburst? Was it something someone said? Did the situation remind you of a past event? How did you feel physically, or emotionally? These clues will help you identify what triggers your anger.

Decrease Anger Intensity

Although you may not be able to eliminate your anger altogether you certainly can decrease the intensity. One effective method is to have a mental image which is incompatible with the expression of anger. You must choose a safe image and this may take some work, but choose an image which makes you feel happy, calm, or peaceful. When you sense a trigger has been invoked, take a deep breath, and concentrate on the safe image until the intensity of your anger has decreased.

Practice Relaxation Techniques

Ultimately, you will want to change your mental and emotional state to be more relaxed all the time. Doing so will make it much more difficult for your triggers to invoke a state of anger. First you will want to identify when you are truly relaxed and maintain that state. How you feel when you first get up in the morning, or just before you go to bed at night are good examples. Pay attention to your relaxed state and remember it, now take some time to practice going into that state on command.